Merry Christmas, Enjoy New Year, Happy Easter, Good luck on Valentines, Spooky Halloween & Happy Birthday Now bug off and don't annoy me for the next 12 months!!!!

what happend 2 ur mobile? i was trying 2 call u but i got this msg: welcome 2 D jungle network,D monkey u r tring 2 call is on tree plz try later.

First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering

Last night I lay in my bed looking at the beautiful stars, the moon and the sky...then i thought where the fuck is my roof

Birdy birdy in the sky dropped a poopy in my eye, I don't worry I don't cry, I'm just happy that cows can't fly!

If your a Vegetarian to be nice to animals, why are you eating there food

I'm a killer, i kill people for money, but you are my friend
I KILL YOU FOR FREE !!

Its been a rough day.I got up this morning,put on a shirt N a button fell off.I picked up my briefcase N the handle came off.I'm afraid 2 go 2 the bathroom

Jesus says to John come forth ill give you eternal life. John came fifth he won a toaster

At dis moment in time 10 million people r having sex.5 million people r drinking coffee.100 million people r sleeping & 1 stupid fool is reading my text!pass on

The rain makes all things beautiful. The grass & flowers 2. If rain makes all things beautiful why doesn’t it rain on you?

i want u 2 know dat our friendship means alot 2 me.U cry i cry.U lauf i lauf.U jump out of da window... I look down & den... i lauf again

An independant study has proven dat those who have a bad sex life & who are crap in bed are readin dis message in their right hand!

I'm @ the police station now been done 4 drink driving.Urine sample was positive so I nicked the sample.they r now doin me 4 taking the piss

girls are like phones. we like to be held and talked too- but if u press the wrong button u'll be disconnected!

A sardarji’s boy asked his dad:
What is a grownup joke?
Sardar ji replied:
any joke which is eighteen years old